Small Talks About Alcohol Can Make a Big Difference

Underage drinking is a real problem in Wisconsin, and unfortunately, it starts earlier than many people realize. Small Talks is a campaign to give parents, grandparents, and other caring adults the resources they need to start talking with the kids in their life at a young age. Small, casual conversations about alcohol should start around age eight. While this may seem young, it is important that these casual conversations start before youth start experimenting with alcohol.

Data from the 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Survey show that in Jackson County, 32% of high school students reported having drank alcohol within the past 30 days, 69% of high school students reported ever having an alcoholic beverage, and of those who drank, 44% engaged in binge drinking. Among students who drank, 35% had their first drink before age 13.

Research shows that parents and other caring adults are the most powerful influence on children’s choices about underage drinking. Small talks are a great way to connect with your child on important topics, like underage drinking. Having frequent small talks over time helps build trust and set expectations as kids grow. Here are some tips for having small talks with a child in your life about underage drinking.

Start the conversation with a question. For example, if watching a tv show and you notice a character drinking, ask your child, “Why do you think the character drinks?”. Or ask, “Why do you think it’s illegal for kids under the age of 21 to drink alcohol?”. You may open the conversation more generally by asking what your child and friends like to do for fun. Have an open conversation about the question.

Control your emotions. When your child opens up, you may hear things you did not expect. Take a deep breath and just listen. You are gaining your child’s trust. Give yourself time to process unexpected information and wait to talk about it later when you are calm.

Be ready for tough questions to come back at you. While this can be hard, it is a great sign that your child is engaged and your talk is on the right track. Give straightforward answers while reinforcing good decisions. Your child may ask, “Did you drink when you were in high school?”. If you did, be honest. Acknowledge that it was risky. Emphasize that we know more now about the risks to children who drink underage. If you didn’t use alcohol when you were young, talk about the reasons why you chose not to drink and how you handled any pressure you may have felt.

Teach your child how to say no. Help your child come up with ready-to-go responses when offered alcohol, such as, “No thanks. I have a game tomorrow,” or “Thanks but I want to keep a clear head tonight.” Pick a code word or phrase your child can text you if they need a ride home or an excuse to leave a bad situation. And when your child makes the right choice and reaches out for help, be sure to tell your child you are proud.

Finally, even in your small talks, be sure to set clear expectations. Be sure kids know that underage drinking is illegal and is unacceptable. Be clear on expectations and consequences and enforce your house rules consistently.

Visit www.SmallTalksWI.org for fact sheets, tips for talking with your children, and to learn tips from other adults.